I met a genie today who granted me one wish. “I want to live forever,” I said.
“Sorry,” said the genie, “I’m not allowed to grant wishes like that.”
“Fine,” I said. “I want to die when the Cubs win the World Series.”
“You crafty bastard,” said the genie.
“It’s like they say. You can have grade-A steak every day, but sometimes you just want a beef taquito.”
To which I responded to Ryan, “You would never cheat on me, right baby?” He replied, “Of course not. Because sometimes you are a steak, and sometimes you are a taquito.”